Reposted with permission from CaregiverStress.co
"Would you like a roll, Dad?" Marilyn asked her dad, age 84, across the restaurant table.
Her dad kept eating, his gaze focused on his plate. Marilyn tried again. Touching her dad's forearm, she said more loudly, "Dad! Would you like a roll?"
This time Marilyn's dad looked up with raised eyebrows, his signal that he knew his daughter was speaking to him, but he had not caught what she said.
"DAD," Marilyn fairly shouted, leaning toward him and speaking slowly. "WOULD YOU LIKE A ROLL?"
"Ah," her dad said with a smile, "yes, I would. Thank you."
Marilyn saw a couple of heads turn her way and felt embarrassed. She wondered if those other diners thought she was yelling at her dad in anger or something. She tried to wrap up their lunch as quickly as possible, avoiding further conversation to save them both the frustration.
Like thousands of other family caregivers across North America, Marilyn was learning how to cope with her dad's hearing loss. She knew the situation was stressful for him because he frequently expressed his frustration at not being able to participate in conversations. What hurt him the most, he said, was not being able to hear the first words his great-granddaughter said.
But Dad's hearing loss was stressful for Marilyn, too. She constantly had to repeat herself or even write things down to communicate them. At the end of some days with Dad, her vocal cords felt strained. And she grew ever-more reluctant to take her dad out in public because of the way strangers stared at them as she raised her voice to communicate.
Effects of Hearing Loss
The effects of hearing loss can extend beyond the most obvious frustrations for the person experiencing hearing impairment and everyone with whom that person communicates. The following are a few effects to be aware of:
How to Recognize the Signs of Hearing Loss
For many older adults, hearing loss occurs very gradually over the course of many years. Because humans tend to adapt to sensory deficits, people with hearing loss may find ways to compensate because they don't realize they are losing their hearing.
Family caregivers can help loved ones recognize hearing loss by looking for some of the signs outlined by the Canadian Hearing Society.
Older adults with hearing loss might:
Like many aging adults, Marilyn's dad initially scoffed when his daughter suggested he have his hearing tested. He believed hearing aids were only for the very elderly, and he certainly wasn't going to wear any!
For many people, hearing aids still carry a social stigma. But if you broach the conversation with compassion, you may be able to help a family member recognize the benefits of treating hearing loss.
After the incident in the restaurant, Marilyn took her dad home and had a conversation about his hearing. Initially resistant, he eventually said he had noticed his hearing declining for some time. He admitted he had missed a parcel delivery recently because he didn't hear the doorbell, and he wished he could have followed the family's conversation around the Christmas dinner table.
For her part, Marilyn expressed how much she missed those easy conversations they used to have in Dad's workshop, and how she wished her children could experience those moments, too. Marilyn's dad eventually made a trip to an audiologist for recommendations.
Having the hearing conversation can feel as daunting as the car keys talk, but the benefits of treating hearing loss can pay big dividends. By using the points and strategies outlined above by the Canadian Hearing Society, you may be able to help a loved one reclaim their ability to converse with friends and family members. And your life as a caregiver may become quieter, too.
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