How to Help Your Child Talk to a Grandparent with Dementia
When a loved one is diagnosed with dementia, the whole family feels it—including children. If you're wondering how to explain dementia to your child or help them stay close to their grandparent, you're not alone. Many caregivers grapple with this tender challenge.
In Episode 47 of Caregiver Chats, host Dr. Lakelyn Hogan Eichenberger talks with Diana Shulla-Cose and Patti LaFleur of Lorenzo’s House, exploring how dementia—especially young-onset dementia—impacts families and how to keep kids emotionally connected.
Why Kids Struggle to Talk to a Loved One with Dementia
Dementia often brings changes in memory, personality, and behavior that can confuse or even frighten children. Kids might notice their grandparent forgets names, repeats questions, or behaves differently, and they may not know how to respond.
“It’s the condition, it’s not Papa,” shares Diana Shulla-Cose.
This gentle truth helps children understand that the illness is separate from the person they love. Framing dementia in age-appropriate language can be the first step toward connection.
5 Tips to Help Your Child Communicate with a Grandparent Who Has Dementia
- Use simple, honest language.
Try saying: “Grandma’s brain is having trouble remembering things. She might forget names or ask the same question again, but she still loves you.” - Prepare them before visits.
Let your child know what they might see or hear. For example: “Grandpa may not remember your name, but he’ll be happy to see your smile.” - Focus on shared activities, not just conversation.
Drawing, music, photo albums, or reading a book together can be more meaningful than words alone. - Model kindness and patience.
Show your child how to respond with calm, even if their grandparent says something confusing or forgets who they are. - Celebrate small moments of connection.
Whether it’s a smile, a hug, or a favorite song, help your child find joy in what remains.
Why This Matters
Helping kids navigate relationships with grandparents who have dementia builds empathy, resilience, and emotional intelligence. It also reassures the grandparent that their family still sees and loves them—just as they are.
As Diana and Patti emphasize in their Caregiver Chats appearance, families facing dementia, especially young families, need specialized support and resources to stay connected.
Helpful Resources
- Lorenzo’s House (youth caregiver support): www.lorenzoshouse.org
- Alzheimer’s Association Guide for Kids and Teens: alz.org/help-support/resources/kids-teens
- Listen to the Full Episode: Caregiver Chats: Young Onset Dementia
